My Love-Hate Relationship With Meterologists

I've previously promised a post on meterology (or maybe I haven't, what the hell do I know what I have and have not done?), and so here it is.  I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with meterology and meterologists, by which I mean only those who are on TV.  If there are meterologists out there behind the scenes, and of course there are, I couldn't give a rat's ass about them.  That's not nice.  I don't mean it.  I'm just saying, look, this post is about the TV ones.

To begin with, I have a thing for women meterologists.  Right alongside women basketball players (Rebecca Lobo, sigh) these are the women I would like to date if only I wasn't married and ugly.  I don't know why this is--perhaps it's the way they look right at me when they are delivering the weather report; maybe it's how they are forced by their job to smile all the time (it's impossible imagining getting into a fight over why we have to recycle the goddamned beer bottles with a meterologist, isn't it?); or maybe it's how they so effortlessly glide their arms around the imaginary weather map as they show us the oncoming cold fronts.  But whatever it is, I love them.  Especially J.C. Monahan, who is one of the two people currently approved by wife as someone I could theoretically sleep with if I could somehow arrange it.  (the other, incidentally, is Liz Phair, who, as I report in Holy Hullabaloos, I have had a crush on for 5 years (I should probably mention here that my wife's list consists of only one person--Heath Ledger--who is now dead and therefore even more unavailable to her than ever before)).

On the other hand, the thing I hate about meterologists is how they are completely unaccountable.  Does anyone know who is the most accurate weather person in Boston?  In the country?  Of course not.  They tell us what they think is going to happen, and nobody goes back and studies whether they got it right, or if they got it wrong, by how much they got it wrong.  You never hear a TV station advertise their meterologist as the "most likely to correctly predict the weather tomorrow," which is odd, since that's their fucking job!  Also I think they get way more time in the newscast than they deserve.  Though I like hearing about the weather in Fargo as much as the next guy, really: who cares?  Especially because once they start talking about this cold front and that high pressure area, you forget what you're doing and start thinking about the laundry and your impending death and everything else, and the next thing you know they're doing the sports and you've missed the one thing you really needed to see, which is the forecast for your area for the next couple of days.  On the other hand, I guess this isn't really a big problem, since the forecast is likely wrong.  Or maybe it isn't.  How would we ever know?

Comments

[jennifer]

Wow, J.C. Monahan has quite a few meterological qualifications. Here in L.A. we have Jillian Barberie. It's kind of hard to take her seriously. And she doesn't need to be that qualified because we don't really have bad weather here.

That's the most I've thought about weather people, well, ever.

[jennifer]

I think I spelled meteorological wrong before. Sorry.

[Jay Wexler]

There's that movie LA Story, doesn't Steve Martin play a TV weather guy and the joke is that it's always 80 and sunny and then he has to blow off work for a few days so he just pre-tapes himself saying it's 80 and sunny but instead some sort of huge meterological event hits while he's away and so he gets in big trouble?

[jennifer]

That's what I recall about LA Story as well. It must be strange to be an L.A. weather person. All this sun and 80 degrees, and then when we get front that brings in 1/4 of an inch of rain, the "storm watch" is the top story on every news channel and the weather people have to fire up the Doppler radar. No wonder the rest of the country makes fun of us. But I sure have been enjoying the 80-degree weather we've had all week.

[Dave]

Your wife might try Viggo Mortensen, now that Heath is gone. Seems to be a big fave with a lot of my lady friends.

http://www.librarising.com/astrology/celebs/viggomortensen.html

Also, nice rant!

[Jay Wexler]

Dave, Thanks. And I will definitely raise your suggestion with K. She loves men with a "bold and fiery countenance."

[Speed dating London]

I like the experience of your wife you shared here. I also wanna share my experience that I had a date in my teenage. And it was my first date. We were gone for dinner and the problem was the boy was so silly he has more concentration in eating rather than me. And during whole date he was appreciating food instead of me... That was worst and funny date for me.